TWELVE SIGNS, COUNTLESS EXCUSES: A Humorous Astrology Guide to Understanding Yourself—and Putting Up with Every-one Else

Twelve Signs, Countless Excuses
A Humorous Astrology Guide to Understanding Yourself—and Putting Up with Everyone Else
Why does one person reply to a message immediately while another spends three days composing the perfect response in their head? Who plans every minute of a move in advance, and who stands among the boxes only to realize they might have needed an apartment first? What do the zodiac signs do when they’re in love, jealous, running late, facing a deadline, dealing with something that has broken, or unexpectedly winning the lottery jackpot?
Naturally, the answer is different for each of the twelve signs. The explanation, however, is perfectly convincing every time. At least to the person giving it.

Twelve Signs, Countless Excuses explores the characteristic ways the zodiac signs behave through twenty-eight everyday situations. You’ll see how they woo someone, break up, and apologize, how they handle shared money, family gatherings, work, criticism, and that awkward moment when they have no idea where they are but are not quite ready to call it being lost.

This is not a traditional guide to the signs, nor is it a textbook. Instead of listing the same familiar traits yet again, it places the twelve archetypes in situations we all encounter. Each chapter shows a different side of them, so Aries is not always charging headfirst into a wall, Taurus does not do nothing but eat, and Virgo occasionally organizes something other than the spice rack.

The humor begins with genuine astrological traits, then plays with the exaggerations, rationalizations, and excuses we all recognize from everyday life. The book is affectionate with a bite, but it never singles out any sign for ridicule. It laughs with them, at them, and, naturally, at us too, because other people’s quirks are always easier to spot than our own perfectly logical habits.

What will you find in this book? love, wooing, breakups, and jealousy; living together, family, moving, and cleaning; money, work, job interviews, and looming deadlines; travel, running late, getting lost, and social situations; all of it seen through the eyes of the twelve zodiac signs; and twenty-eight original black-and-white caricatures. You do not need any prior knowledge of astrology to enjoy the book’s first layer. All you need to know is your own Sun sign, along with the signs of anyone you are absolutely determined to prove this book is really about.
For readers who know more about astrology, the planetary symbols shown beside the chapters offer a second way to read. They indicate which planets’ sign placements may also be interesting to explore in that particular situation, in addition to the Sun sign. This allows the same chapter to work both as light entertainment and as a playful exercise in astrological self-awareness.

Who is this book for?
For you, if you love astrology but also enjoy laughing at it now and then. If you’re curious about how a characteristic trait turns into everyday behavior. If you’d like to recognize yourself, your partner, your family members, or that coworker who has a surprisingly detailed explanation for every late arrival.
It also makes an ideal gift for anyone who enjoys reading about the zodiac signs, appreciates humor that is sharp yet affectionate, and will not take offense if the observations become suspiciously accurate after a few pages.

Twelve Signs, Countless Excuses does not promise that you will understand everyone perfectly from now on. It may, however, help you put up with them a little more easily.
And if you recognize yourself along the way, that is naturally just a coincidence. Or your natal chart.