The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You: Let Go of Toxic Bonds and Build Healthy Ones

A validating and prescriptive guide on how to break the bonds that tear us down and create the ones that build us up from the celebrated author of Welcome Home .

“There is a human need to have the people who hurt us bear witness to that pain. This book reminds us to compassionately understand why we crave that and teaches us how to release it.”—Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

The one who broke you can’t heal you is not just a truth. It’s a turning point. A wake-up call. A release.

Most of us continue to be bonded to the people who hurt us, waiting for them to give us closure, to see us as worthy of their change or remorse, and to apologize. True healing begins when you stop giving the one who broke you the pen that writes the story of how you heal. Instead, you decide to put your broken pieces back together with the healing threads of self-love and inner wisdom.

We are bound to people in our romantic relationships and friendships, in our families and at work. And those bonds pull at us in ways that might make us feel stuck, dispensable, or unstable. But bonds with others can also make us feel valued, respected, and truly loved . The One Who Broke You Can’t Heal You explores the seven types of bonds that hold us to people: healthy bonds, convenient bonds, transactional bonds, forced bonds, enabling bonds, toxic bonds, and trauma bonds.

You can learn to recognize the bonds that weaken you and the ones that strengthen you. You can shine a light on these invisible threads and see which ones need to be released, which ones may need mending, and when it’s time to weave new, healthier threads.

In these pages, Najwa guides you to
• let go of the myth of closure and make peace with your past
• break the patterns and beliefs that keep you bonded to pain and those who caused it
• reclaim your power in all your relationships
• plant the seeds for relationships rooted in depth, safety, and authenticity

With practical actions and personal stories woven throughout, The One Who Broke You Can’t Heal You is a soul-soothing journey to a life nourished by meaningful connections with others—and yourself.